It's currently October 7, 2022 as I write this and it seems apparent to me that conversations around men's mental health is still quite stigmatized. The mere idea of talking about a man's emotions is like walking across a field filled with landmines. Because of this, I've dedicated my focus on men's mental health rather than everyone's mental health. It's no secret that women have always been more open about their emotions and conveying them to others than men and I can also mention some very sad statistics relating to men's mental health but take my word for it; there's a lot of work to do.
So where do we start? If you ask me and you're a man reading this, I think it's important to recognize you have emotions. Sounds simple but bear with me. Quickly before I move on, if you're a woman reading this don't think I'm leaving you out! I think this series can be quite beneficial in better understanding mental health from a man's perspective as well as equipping you with plenty of information on how to have these sorts of conversations with your boyfriend, husband, brother, etc.
Now going back to my previous point, for a lot of men it's extremely hard to recognize they have emotions. From a young age whether it's taught consciously or unconsciously, men are taught to not reveal their emotions as much as their female counterparts regardless of setting. You aren't taught to express them at home. School. Within your friend group. Anywhere. It places men in a very isolating position. Research has shown that out of every 10 suicides that happen across the globe, 7 of them are men. Within those 7 the vast majority attribute their decision to feelings of loneliness, being expendable, and not ever feeling cared about or heard. It's the harsh reality we currently live in. It doesn't have to remain this way though.
Speaking from personal experience, I've lost a handful of beautiful souls at the hands of these demonic emotions and I resonate with where they're coming from. If you're a man reading this, while I'm not a gambler I'd say there's a high probability that you have felt those emotions I mentioned earlier. I have. If you rather not face that reality right now that's okay. What I do want you to do is to tell yourself: "I have emotions". You can start off real simple and here's how.
I want to teach you how to do a simple technique I call performing an emotional audit. It's extremely basic and not hard to do at all. Think of an activity you do. Once you have something in mind perform your "emotional audit" and ask yourself, how does this make me feel? You don't have to be poetic with your description. A mere one or two words will suffice. Here's an example: I am currently preparing dinner. The dinner is a simple salmon glazed 8oz steak on white rice. How does preparing this meal make me feel? I feel focused. I feel excited at the idea of how this will taste once it's ready.
Congratulations. That's an emotional audit. It's that simple.
As I wrap up this article I want to leave you with a bit of advice on how to achieve success in this first part of the men's mental health series. If recognizing you have emotions is something that you struggle with, don't put yourself through the pain of attempting an emotional audit on a difficult situation like an argument with a girlfriend or a problematic work dilemma. I used a simple example because that's what I want you to do as well. As you progress please feel free to start attempting it with those more complicated scenarios.
You have feelings and that's okay.
You are not alone. You deserve to felt heard. You are cared for.
Until the next one, thank you for joining me on this first part of the series.
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