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  • Javier Coronel

Men's Mental Health: Finding Comfort From Within

Feeling comfortable with who I am as a person is an obstacle I've faced my entire life. I don't want to say the typical "I don't fit in" but it's how I've felt throughout my life. Until just a few years ago, I honestly thought I WAS comfortable with myself but it wasn't until therapy that I realized I had been fooling myself.

Because I don't fit any singular particular mold, I felt that showing my unique aspects was me being comfortable with myself but when I really sat down and thought about it, even though I show true aspects of myself as an individual, I still mute everything down a touch. Like soda with water poured into the glass to minimize the sweetness of the taste. I don't think I should have to feel that way. I don't think anyone should feel that way. I think we should all strive to stick to the truest version of ourselves even if it means rubbing some people the wrong way because after all, life is short and it could end at any moment.

I don't want to frame this topic as if it's specific to men, I just think this is something that on average affects men more than women. Societal standards in particular cultures such as the United States have normalized the expression of emotions in females, but not men. This opens the door and readily makes the opportunity available to show more of your personality without feeling judged and like you're being inspected under a microscope.

I think where it starts is in learning to be yourself among other men and then branching out into the rest of the world. By doing this, you begin the process of normalizing expression within all-male groups which in turn will bleed out into the rest of society. I can't emphasize this enough but I really do think that people having a better understanding of their emotions and how to properly communicate them would make the world a more compassionate place.

This is a hard challenge to overcome because there's no one perfect answer to solve it. What might work for me might not work for you. I've found through my own experiences after realizing I was deceiving myself my entire life that freely expressing who I am as a person is a beautiful feeling even if it means losing some people along the way. I have. That's okay. You'll find people that are better suited for your personality anyways so just push through the temporary pain.

This will be a short article because I want this to be more of a though starter than anything else. The idea of being true to yourself is large and hard to grasp for some. Sit on it for as long as needed and once you're ready I urge you to start finding out what your authentic self is like.

As always, thank you for taking the time to read what I had to say and if you need someone to talk to, I am here for all of you.

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